One-Sided

The American side (that means team in soccer) just defeated Algiers (it’s a country) in the World Cup. This year it happens to be the World Cup of soccer (not Quidditch). Usually I derive great pleasure in bashing soccer partially because bashing soccer happens to be ridiculously easy. Today, the creating the barbs is not nearly as much fun.. The only electronic jabs from me will be limited, insightful and necessary. For example, doesn’t the American coach, Bob Bradley, look like the miniature love child of Cal Ripken Jr. and Ed Harris?

The novice soccer fan can learn a lot and truly appreciate the Yanks thrilling 1-0 victory thanks to Landon Donovan’s goal. With the win the Americans won their group and advance to the Knockout-Stage of the tournament.

Soccer at the highest level can be exciting. The game may not necessarily be exhilarating if it is a played between 8 year old girls at the “Y” on Saturdays. (I know because believe it or not, I gladly help coach 8 year old girls at the “Y” on Saturdays). But, when your country, assuming you are not a “global citizen,” wins in the final moments of any competition, it is a very excellent event.

These guys are fantastic athletes. Personally, I think they look like gymnasts without the upper body muscles. Sorry. Seriously, the foot-eye coordination of these guys is amazing. Add in that these guys are in perpetual motion, and it is remarkable they can control and power the ball so skillfully. That said soccer fan, I actually watched the second half while running six miles on a treadmill, and those guys are not sprinting for the entire time. Nonetheless, these guys are ridiculously fit and athletic.

Clearly, it is not baseball or football in this regard, but good decisions have to be made quickly and often by the coaches and players. I was surprised and very interested to really watch how the goalkeepers influence setting up the offensive “runs” with their kicks and throws. American keeper (goalie) Tim Howard really helped the Yanks start the pressure on several runs.

Foreign analysts are pretty cool. These guys convey passion without Chris Berman-like shtick. They are also willing to criticize and then, move forward. Luckily, soccer’s movement doesn’t lend it self to dwelling on minutia for extended periods of time.

On somewhat of a side note, guess who really won the game … Barak Obama. Seriously, he needed this more than our country did. Maybe that guy can stay out of the oil disaster and insubordinate general headlines for a day. And, isn’t karma a bitch? The last minute U. S. victory catipulted the U. S. over the English “side” to take Group C. Take that BP. It’s just more proof that God loves us more.

On somewhat of a side note part two, do you know why Bill Clinton was at the match? He heard that they were giving away free vuvuzelas. Sorry, could help it.

That is about as nice as I can be. Here are some unabashed observations from an unabashed American.

The flopping is a problem; thankfully the Americans weren’t as good at flopping as the sometimes untouched Algerians.

Even I can not pretend to be so arrogant as to claim to know how hard their job is, but the referees really miss a lot of the correct calls. Much like over the weekend, the referees wrongly redacted a goal from the Americans.


The lack of scoring really is a problem. While it was clear the American were the better team today, they needed “extra time” or “injury time” to score the game’s only goal. Had the U. S. not scored today, they would not have been one of the top two teams in their four team group. They would have gone undefeated in three games but still not advanced. That may be soccer, but it is truly stupid.

Today’s victory does teach America a few things. Soccer can be exciting. It is more fun to win than it is to lose … or draw. (That means tie in soccer). Some Americans do love the soccer, and thankfully, we are pretty good at the game.