All-Star Games ... Really

Professional Sports All-Star games are now officially watered-down crap. First, Major League Baseball did an excellent job of de-valuing their game with 2002’s infamous tie. And now, despite various tweaks (such as the NFL moving the setting of the Pro Bowl) from all the leagues, the games keep setting new standards of insignificance. It’s mainly because the casts of these productions are not real stars. Instead of thinking Bart Starr, think David Garrard. Injuries, lame dropouts from the real stars, fan balloting and, in the case of the NFL, the scheduling of the game before the Super Bowl, have watered down the rosters. (Seven Indianapolis Colts and seven New Oreleans Saints players will not playing creating space for fourteen replacements).

This year the NBA and NFL have taken their celebrity scrimmages to new lows. Just look at the rosters. Eastern Conference starting guard Allen Iverson wasn’t good enough to play for the Memphis (Memphis?) Grizzlies in November. In January he is an All-Star for the Philadelphia 76ers.

Staying in Tennessee, the Tennessee Titans Vince Young and Kyle Vanden Bosh have both been added to the AFC Pro Bowl roster. Here are Young’s stats for ‘09: a pedestrian 82.9 passer rating and paltry 1,879 passing yards. What about his rushing totals you ask. Unfortunately, his rushing totals do not make up for his lack of passing acumen: 281 yards and two touchdowns. It is true that Young did not see significant playing time in the first four weeks of the season. However, even if he had played the full season, he would have projections look like this: 2,400 yards passing, and about 350 yards rushing.

The most surprising player on any roster of the games “superstars” is Titans defensive end Kyle Vanden Bosch. Twenty-seven defensive ends had more tackles the Vanden Bosch’s 44. Sixty-six, yes, sixty-six defensive ends had more than his 3 sacks. Those are not the stats of a filet mignon type of player, more like a Subway BMT Combo type of player.

Of these three examples, Iverson is actually the most deserving. When he takes the court with all of his body art, it’s because of his body of work. And, there is nothing wrong with that. It is unfortunate and painfully clear that the soon-to-be-Hall-of-Famer is just not an All-Star performer anymore, and one would imagine an All-Star game to be about the best of the best players.

As a kid the All-Star games were appointment TV, now it may be time to abandon the sunken ship. There has never been drama in these games and the romance is spent, replaced by charades. Because of the money and marketing generated, the respective leagues deem them necessary. But as of now, the leagues must get creative and re-invent them … really.

Go West, Young Man

Ten Quick Bullet Points (Pun Intended) on Lane Kiffin jolting the Tennessee Nation


1. The Trojans are a better for Lane Kiffin. USC is a much higher profile job. Recruiting, which is a strength of Kiffin’s, will be much simpler in So Cal. The Pac-10 is a much easier conference to win, with less competition and no championship game. Finally, Kiffin has been on the west coast since graduating high school.

2. Kiffin is the best USC could do. The had already been turned by better names such as Mike Riley and Jack del Rio. Hell, in a lot of ways he is Washington coach Steve Sarkisian “lite,” with a more Hollywood friendly name recognition.

3. Tennessee will not go as outside the box with their next hire. They got burned by Kiffin. He left, taking his Daddy and Ed Orgeron with him, after only fourteen months. UT only won seven games in his lone season and faces possible recruiting violations. Three players were arrested on gun charges exactly two months ago. The Vols need stability.

4. Somewhere, Phillip Fulmer is saying, "You ran me out for this?

5. Tennessee fans have to keep changing their drawers, or at least flip them inside out, every couple of hours.


6. In Seattle, Pete Carroll is very happy. The Kiffin hiring has taken all the focus off his rapid exodus to the Seattle Seahawks.





7. In Knoxville, Bruce Pearl is jumping for joy. Kiffin’s departure, coupled with the basketball Vols upset of No. 1 Kansas, means the December gun and marijuana “incident” involving the four hoopsters at the convenience store parking lot virtually disappears.

8. Georgia defensive coach Rodney Garner is contemplating a change of address. Garner, a former UT assistant, is an outstanding recruiter and holds the title of Assistant Head Coach at Georgia. He wasn’t seriously considered for the indefinitely vacant defensive coordinator job by Mark Richt and may not be head coaching stock. Still, no matter what the title, he would be invaluable helping Tennessee hold on to the current recruiting class (currently ranked sixth in the country by Rivals and Scouts.com).

9. In Lubbock, new Texas Tech coach Tommy Tuberville is pissed.



10. Frankly, my dear, Nick Saban doesn’t give a damn. And, why should he? As much as it may hurt the Volunteer nation, their place in the SEC hierarchy is simply middle of the pack while their traditionally biggest rival reigns national champion.

Big Mac Admits to Using the Special Sauce

Many sports fans are going to be very well fed for the next week. Thank you, Mark McGwire.

McGwire has finally “come clean” and admitted his steroid use during his would-be Hall of Fame career. This is pure gold for sports fans.

We are in a relatively dead sports period. College bowl season is over. The NFL play-offs grab our attention only on the weekends. College basketball does not captivate the mainstream fan until March --even later for the casual NBA fan. Hockey is even less of a story than the start of a Tiger-less PGA season. Also, baseball’s hot stove league is on a low simmer.

Thanks again, Big Mac.

Regardless of your stance on Performance Enhancing Drugs in baseball (and all sports for that matter), the McGwire admittance and plea for public forgiveness is funny in some unexpected ways. Enjoy it even though it may not be entirely “ha-ha funny.”

It’s funny because everyone, including the Maris family, has acknowledged for about a decade that the guy was on steroids.

It’s funny because he claims that steroids did not help his “gift” of hitting home runs. That’s like Pamela Anderson saying that her looks did not help her become an actress. No, Pamela, it was your strong, classical thespian skills that landed the Baywatch job.

McGwire said “There's no way I did this for any type of strength use." Really. That’s very interesting Mark. Why not just tell us, “My increased muscle size and power were an unforeseen and surprising side effect of taking steroids coupled with working out.”





It’s funny because some comic genius in the media unearthed Grandpa Simpson aka Bob Feller. Lucky for us when interviewed, Bob was just being Bob. When told that Big Mac didn’t think the PEDs helped him hit home runs, Feller responded, "I think that's a lot of horse muffins … If it didn't help him any, what the hell was he taking them for?” Horse muffins? Thanks, Grandpa.

It’s funny because Bobby Knight of all people is spinning for McGwire. This gives us the sporting world’s oddest man-love-triangle: Mark McGwire-Tony LaRussa- Bobby Knight. The casual fan knows that McGwire and LaRussa were co-dependent in Oakland and then again in St. Louis. More serious fans have seen interviews pairing the odd couple of LaRussa and Knight over the years. That by itself is kind of funny. Remember, LaRussa is an animal activist and vegetarian. Knight is an avid hunter, almost always preying on animals without opposable thumbs.

ESPN aired the comments of the legendary coach and current network employee, regarding McGwire. This was priceless. Here is an excerpt of the General’s musing on McGwire, “He is one of the great people I have ever met in sports … I don’t think Mark got good advice in his appearance before the Senate committee. I think that had Tony (LaRussa) and I been advising him, he would have come off a lot different.” Two quick thoughts. First, is Knight suggesting we should hold McGwire in the same esteem as Jackie Robinson and Roberto Clemente? Second, Knight may have just hit on another great post-coaching career path: The Bobby Knight School of Public and Media Relations.

Enjoy the laughs now because McGwire is finally putting his past behind him.

Despite the unintended train-wreck humor, the healing process has begun for McGwire. More twists and turns in the story lie ahead. The jury will not deliver the verdict of public opinion on the PED generation for some time. McGwire’s behavior, from this point forward, will be more impactful on his legacy than the verbiage of his apology. But moving forward, he can say he apologized. This makes him a little more like Andy Petite and a little less like Roger Clemens.

Welcome to the Avatar Bowl

The new school West Point football unis


Rodney Dangerfield once told this joke: I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out. After watching the uniforms Boise State and TCU rocked the in the Fiesta Bowl, he might have said something different. “I turned on my Xbox and a college football game broke out.”

On the other hand, the NFL is the No Fun Leaguewhen it comes to uniforms.. Players are expected to resemble storm troopers in their uniformity. Should they step outside the line, they get fined by the uniform police. Interesting fact: Merton Hanks, the long-necked former pro bowl San Francisco 49er defensive back, is the head of the uniform police.

Even old school college fans can appreciate, or lament, the “new college try.” Teams like Oregon, TCU and even the service academies give us something to talk about on the field … other than the game itself. Poor Joe Paterno, the first thing he'll do when he's finally buried is roll over in his grave.