Ten Observations/ Predictions from the Sports World

Please read the following observations/ predictions from the world of sports. You’re welcome for the clarity.

The Indianapolis Colts are 0-3 in the NFL pre-season. This gives them four wins versus 21 losses dating back to 2005. This proves the pre-season records mean nothing because the Colts have averaged 13 wins over the same regular seasons. Oh, and they won a Super Bowl.

Nick Saban will eventually leave the University of Alabama for another coaching job.

The NFL is the king of sports, and college football rules the south, but high school football is the best value for the Everyfan.

No American male will advance to the semis-finals of the 2010 U. S Open.

Pitcher Andy Petite is the key to the New York Yankees post-season and Roger Clemens federal indictment for his role in the performance enhancing drug saga.

The World Basketball Championships are currently under way in Turkey. You may not have known this, or even cared. This lack of story proves that the “Lebron James Decision” was good for the NBA in the vein of “any publicity is good publicity.”

Major League Baseball is on a roll right now. Clemens’ issues with telling the truth and letting guys inject drugs into his backside, has a fantastic reality television feel that is attractive to mainstream viewers and readers. Also, there are great story lines emerging as the play-offs approach. Small market and small budget teams like San Diego and Tampa Bay are leading their divisions. And lastly, The Yankees are still relevant.

Golf’s Ryder Cup is the premier all-star contest in professional sports. Tiger Woods is the world’s best golfer. Still, he has been fighting to make the U. S. Ryder Cup team. (He will make it). Golfers are the only athletes care so much about these exhibitions. That’s why we should be interested.

The NFL will go to an eighteen team schedule next season. Rosters will expand. Teams will carry four quarterbacks. Some teams will take this opportunity to “carry” an unconventional or “Wildcat” quarterback.

Every guy driving a Smart Car has a beard? It’s true. This may not be related all that closely to sports, but it is true. Think about it.

Nike's Hole In One

Last week Phil Knight and his team of geniuses at Nike hit a hole in one with their controversial new Tiger Woods commercial. The ad was released just a day before Tiger’s return to competitive golf at The Masters. It features the voice of the (the subterranean) Earl Woods admonishing his son, Tiger. Everyone in the pop culture world, not just the sports world, was discussing the effect of the somber father rebuking his son for getting caught with his “hands” in the metaphorical cookie jar.

Warm fuzzzies be damned, the ad was brilliant. It dominated conversation on the eve and throughout all of Masters Week. Immediately the media focus shifted away from Tiger’s transgressions, as well as his return to competitive golf, and onto the advertisement itself. The subsequent discussions became an unbuyable amount of Nike publicity and chatter on TV, radio, internet, around the water cooler and at Starbucks. In fact the commercial and Tiger’s excellent performance, literal and hopefully not figurative, in Augusta has essentially shut the door on the revelations that stemmed from the “Thanksgiving Night Massacre.” Of course, that door is neither hermitically sealed nor dead-bolted, but it is at least temporarily closed.

In a conversation while watching the final round of the Masters, a friend complained to me, “Nike should not have done that. They should not have taken Earl Woods’ voice from some secret vault and made Tiger look so bad.” (The recorded quotes are actually from a recording of Earl speaking to/about Tiger’s mother, Tilda, in 2004). My friend was not taking an unreasonable position. Nor is the position of “Thank God, Nike put the cheater in his place,” unreasonable. So why did Nike “Just Do It?” Because Nike could. Because Tiger Woods, while inseparable from Nike Golf, is no longer the “boss” of Nike Golf.

Even with his admitted confessions, a vulnerable Tiger is hard to fathom. Nike Golf and Tiger enjoyed a meteoric, symbiotic rise in the sports world. He became the company’s pitchman when he was just 20 years old, way back in 1996, before Nike was really in the golf business. Essentially, Tiger Woods built Nike Golf.

Quickly, as each entity rose to prominence, the brands Nike Golf and Tiger Woods became co-dependent and inseparable. It is impossible to visualize the golfer without the swoosh and the swoosh without the golfer. Just take a look at Tiger on the course. Unlike other players on the PGA Tour, he does not bedazzle his wardrobe like the front quarter panel of a NASCAR vehicle. When you see Phil Mickelson, he has KPMG, Callaway and Barclays all over his “quarter panels.” The only logos on Tiger are simply Nike, be it the famous swoosh or his private label TW trademark. During tournament coverage, he has never been swathed with a Gatorade lightning bolt, or a Buick crest. Furthermore, Tiger’s equipment is also predominately Nike. While other players may play a Titleist ball with Callaway clubs, Woods hits a Nike ball with Nike clubs while wearing a Nike glove, a Nike shirt, a Nike hat, a Nike belt...

The relationship has been mutually and ridiculously profitable. Despite a slumping economy for luxury goods like golf equipment, Nike’s golf sales are over $680 million annually and maintain a huge slice of the golf equipment and apparel pie. For his endorsements and influence, Nike pays Tiger upwards of $20 million a year. If under any circumstance, Tiger left Nike and became a front man for Callaway or Ping, Nike would have to recreate the entire brand. To reposition (hip Madison Avenue terminology), would take a lot more than a few kitschy thirty second spots during the John Deere Classic.

More than the golf icon’s carnal relationships changed in the aftermath of the Thanksgiving Night Massacre. (In review, Tiger’s grill allegedly stopped a Nike Golf club swung by his wife Elin, and moments later, a palm tree and/or fire hydrant stopped the grill of the Woods’ family Escalade). It was at exactly that instant that Phil Knight and his Nike geniuses started to become the boss of the relationship again, and Tiger became the submissive employee. (And, if you read and believe some of Tiger’s mistresses leaked texts, Tiger being submissive is really ironic). Capturing the moment, Nike flexed its muscle (figurative again) and quickly produced the spot that completed the fall from, “Tiger, you da man,” to Tiger demeaned.

And, what will the ad do for sales? Whether consumers want a commercial that positions Tiger 2.0 in an even less appealing light, or consumers believe that Nike is being distasteful and manipulative, the ad is already serving its purpose: get the brand name in conversation and subsequently boost sales. Meanwhile, Nike Golf and Tiger Woods remain indivisible. No matter whose side you take, you are supporting Tiger Woods or Nike Golf. Therefore, you are supporting one in the same.

In golf, it’s all about execution, and Nike’s execution was brilliant. Like it or despise it, a golf fan’s appropriate response to the commercial is to offer up an understated golf-clap and say, “Nice shot.”

The Tiger Situation

After the winter of media hibernation, Tiger Woods apologized for his rampant infidelity last week. Hacks, of the writing and of the golf variety, now get their turn to play judge, palm reader, and preacher. No one, it seems, is afraid to speak out when it comes to Tiger and his indiscretions. Already, there have been and will continue to be some pretty interesting takes on sports’ most famous apology.

Here’s one great viewpoint formed well ahead of Tiger’s press conference. This opinion began taking shape in feeble minds when Tiger’s harem seemed more like Charlie’s Angels than the Dirty Dozens. “Why is Tiger even apologizing? He is just doing what every man wishes he could do. He’s just talking because he wants to get more cheese from those sponsors.” This is great guy to have on your side, unless you’re building a rocket ship or trying to find a cure for cancer.

Some members of the media also began forming their opinions well before Tiger finally spoke. They complained, “If he doesn’t take any questions how can it be real apology?” This is like one of my jilted daughters saying about the other, “I don’t want her apology because she won’t mean it.” There may be some truth to these statements, but that’s not how anyone tries to raise their kids. The media guy who says this is also the one who complains that athletes make too much money. He also likes to take his son to autograph shows wearing an authentic replica player’s jersey.

Somewhere in the middle of this, someone interviews a celebrity for his/her opinion of the “Tiger Woods Situation.” This is of course not be confused with Jersey Shore’s The Situation. (Unfortunately, Because we create and come to adore our celebrities way too easily, The Situation is now officially qualified to comment on the Tiger Woods Situation). Celebrity plus microphone has never been a reliable recipe for brilliance, reason and/or morals. Again, See Jersey Shore. When the celebrity opinion rears appears on screen, it’s time to change the channel quickly. Very rarely is this actually insightful. Usually it’s like watching model trains run into each other. While the scene may entertain us briefly, you’re not really learning anything new and could have gone through the rest of your day without seeing it.

Other media members took this stance. “He bared his soul. He was vulnerable. I felt sorry for him.” It is amazing how “this guy” morphs himself into some licensed psychoanalyst and ordained pastor instantly just because he has an audience. This is the guy that also becomes a political hack every three and half years and tells us what is wrong with our country and which way we need to vote.

Of course, none of these positions matter. They are ridiculously predictable and tiresome to read, hear or see. I found myself thinking about much more important things over the weekend. Can we ever make it to church on time? Who should hit clean-up on our four, five and six year old youth baseball team? Why are their no bases on a baseball practice field? Can the U. S. hockey team really win a gold medal in Vancouver? What channel is MSNBC? Why did it take me 25 years to appreciate hot and sour soup?

Fact is, Tiger made his apology. Now comes the heavy lifting. He is just now lacing up his Nikes, his marathon course to decency t is about to start. And although it may not be fun for a hack like me to admit, this cliche is the best analysis: actions do speak louder than words. Good luck, Tiger.

Open Position

If you happen to be running a Fortune 500 company, do yourself a favor. Don’t hire PGA golf pro Ernie Els as your Vice-President of Marketing and Brand Awareness. Send his resume to your competition.

On Thursday, Els blasted the easiest target and punch-line of the 2000s, Tiger Woods. From the site of the current Accenture Match Play Championship outside of Tuscon, Els told Golfweek, "It's selfish. You can write that. I feel sorry for the sponsor. Mondays are a good day to make statements, not Friday. This takes a lot away from the golf tournament.” Incidentally, Tiger Woods was a pitchman for Accenture before he got caught in all of his “night-putting.” Accenture was among the first sponsors to drop him.

It probably wasn’t orchestrated as such, but Woods is doing his former sponsor a favor. The PGA tour version 2010 hasn’t really started in the minds of the common fan. Last week was the annual “Bill Murray I’m Still Relevant and Ray Romano I wish I Were Relevant Pro-Am at Pebble Beach.” Playing three courses over four day with amateurs by the ocean is like a typical weekend at Myrtle Beach. Fans don’t begin to follow the tour until the Master’s is around the corner. (Pun intended). By holding his press conference at 11:00 Eastern, Tiger is providing an amazing lead-in for GolfChannel’s tournament coverage. Suddenly, people are discussing the Accenture Match Play. Hello Ernie, they are pumping the name like never before. Hell, if you asked a conversational fan before yesterday, they would associate Buick as a Woods sponsor before they would Accenture. (Buick dropped Tiger in the spring of ’09).

Like it or not, Tiger is actually working some good spin. It’s simple, the media is upset because Tiger has once again proved to be the Untouchable. He has become the Holy Grail of sports and pop culture. Choosing a Friday to make his first visual mea culpa was genius. Many in the media, even the bottom feeding bloggers, still earn the majority of their living before the weekend. The media consumer spends much less time ducking their boss and doing “internet research” on Saturdays and Sundays than the rest of the week.

The setting for Tiger’s statement is also brilliant. He will speak from TPC Sawgrass, the home links of the PGA. This association gives Tiger a powerful if unofficial support group. PGA Commissioner Tim Finchem can not let his cash cow be grilled by the media.

Although this production will be scripted like a James Cameron vehicle, it really doesn’t matter much. Other athletes have prepped us for this moment. The general public doesn’t require full disclosure. If you were furious and vocally upset in November and December, you will be after the press conference. A blind follower of the Tiger pack will remain so. Everyone wants Tiger to field questions, no doubt about it but that doesn’t mean he is foolish enough to do it. Tiger just wants to get up and down (couldn’t resist) this morning, he is not trying to hit the improbable hole in one (sorry). Today the real audience is the mainstream. It is for those of us that have a short term memory, are easily influenced and love to watch the best of the best. Today, Tiger will start to take America back. His performance on the course and will determine the success of his comeback.

Sorry, Ernie. Sorry, golf world. Like it or not, many have learned before you. It’s just easier to take Tiger lying down.

A Wedge Between Them

This week the golf world finally took its eyes off Tiger Woods. Specifically, the PGA players, executives and media took their Ping Eye 2 wedges off Tiger.

In the off season certain wedges with specific grooves said to generate excessive spin, and therefore superior control, were banned by the PGA in events. This exercise is proving to be an obvious but less than foresightful attempt to slow down the technological advances on equipment. The vision is to reward a player’s skill, not celebrate space-aged product innovation. Unsuccessful attempts to “Tiger-proof” golf courses from booming drives over the last decade have made this step necessary in the eyes of golf’s governing body. Some might say it’s like choosing plastic surgery because the diet didn’t work, or visca versa. Unfortunately, one wedge was grandfathered via an oversight, the Ping Eye 2 wedge. Ironically, the club was designed and crafted before April 1, 1990. April Fool’s Day, can you hear Alanis Morrisette in the background?

This new rule caused only a ripple of comments from critics while the PGA was starting the season in the middle of the Pacific in January. Thanks to the appearance of a Ping Eye 2 in the bag of the world’s second best golfer: Phil Mickelson at Torrey Pines last week in San Diego, the rule has suddenly become cause celeb. Lefty, who Alanis Morrisette may or may not know is actually right-handed off the course, became the perfect target for a freshman member of the tour’s Player Advisory Council, Scott McCarron. McCarron a tour player since 1995, is proving a less lovable but equally laughable imitation of Mayberry’s Deputy Barney Fife. He told the San Francisco Chronicle last Friday (before missing the cut at Torrey Pines), "It's cheating, and I'm appalled Phil has put it in play."

Hold on to your putter, big boy. It’s not cheating. Golfers, and not just Mickelson, are using a club that is legal. To quote Zach Galifianakis’ character in The Hangover, “It’s not illegal. It's frowned upon, like masturbating on an airplane.” Sidebar- The Hangover 2 is in the works. This week McCarron apparently realized that Mickelson is the current Alpha male on tour and not merely a newly appointed hall monitor. (A hall monitor that has not played in more than two majors in a year since 2003). McCarron swiftly apologized. Satisfied that he made his point regarding the tour’s less than due diligence regarding the process of outlawing equipment, Mickelson pulled the Ping wedge out of his bag this week.

Speaking of putters, McCarron has employing a belly putter since 1992. The belly putter is not only the second most controversial club on tour, it is the club Ted Knight would be using if he were to be alive and filmmakers were making Caddyshack 4.

So what did we learn this week? First, that the PGA underestimated the creativity and gamesmanship of their professional athletes. The Ping Eye 2 is not illegal. Of course some guys want to take any advantage to be competitive and win. Secondly, the tour remains a collection of independent contractors free to do as they please as long as they perform. They will do mostly as they please. Remember just last year, pleas from sponsors did nothing significant to increase the star player’s participation in lesser known events. Third, there are more skirmishes down the fairway as golf’s governing bodies across the globe try to manage inevitable equipment advances. Ping, and their competitors like Nike and Callaway, pay big money to players and for research and development in order to get their products into the hands of weekend hackers everywhere. Lastly we learned, whether anyone likes it or not, Phil Mickelson is the new, albeit interim, sheriff in town.