Ten Reasons Why Americans Love Football:

1. We are the best at football.  No other country comes close to us.  We own football like we own proceesed lunch meat, Disney World, neck tattoos and Beyonce.
 
2. It’s violent. Who ever  watched “The Sopranos” or any Arnold Schwarzenegger movie for the acting.

3. Little kids look funny playing football.  Kids play tackle football in full pads at five and six years old. Have you seen a live 3 ½ foot bobble head try to run sixty yards with 21 other bobble heads in hot pursuit? That’s funny.
 
4. It's appointment television. Our commitment is manageable. You know when (and where) to find games on your television.  Games are either in prime time or on the weekend. If you want to be a casual fan, it's easy.  You don’t have to keep up with football everyday through 80 plus, or even 160 plus games like other sports.


5. It’s appointment gambling and for some, it’s a manageable vice … if you want it to be. And yes, fantasy football is also a form of gambling.  Then, again so is paying taxes via buying lottery tickets.

6. The players look like superheroes. Do you really want to see C. C. Sabathia or Shaquille O’Neal without a shirt? Adrian Petersen is a walking anatomy lesson. And even the fat guys on the offensive line look cool when they put on twenty-something pounds of space age kevlar, impact resisting body armor.

7. Football players are Americans, and they speak English.  The athletes and coaches are predominately Americans. This is not so true in baseball, hockey and lately basketball with the globalization of the NBA. We don't need a translator for football. (Although sometimes, subtitles would be nice).

8. Kickers. They really don’t fit in with everybody else. They are lees than pint-size, and they don’t practice with the team.  These hummels only play for a few seconds every game, yet their success is critical to the outcome of every close game. We either jeer them like the nerdy kid with one entire hand up his nose, or we celebrate them like the guy (not Al Gore) who created the interweb.

9. The Super Bowl. You can lose yourself, and your interest and your girlfriend in the legnthy baseball or basketball play-offs.  It doesn't make sense to come off a the beach sunburnt and browse sixty channells to find a second round NBA play-off gamre.  Then, there is the soccer.  Even if  soccer were  a very minor part of the American sports fan’s consciousness, we still could not tolerate the vuvuzelas and the World Cup every year. Finally, golf and NASCAR are not even clearly sports to the guy making dents in his couch every weekend, and the PGA and Cup play-offs are about as manufactured yet inconsistent as a fast food value menu.

10. Ask any coming of age high school boy, and he will tell you … cheerleaders.

 

Did I leave something off the list? Post a comment and let me know.  Also, please check out my SEC football posts at:
Sean Conway on 2010 University of Tennessee Football
Sean Conway on 2010 University of South Carolina Football

N. O. Love

The New Orleans Saints Super Bowl XLIV win is undoubtedly a feel great story. New Orleans is a city with chins up and glasses raised, proudly recovering and revitalizing in the wake of the devastation of Hurricane Katrina. It’s a proud city colored with bright characters and often caricatures. Congratulations to the most hospitable borough in the South.

That doesn’t mean everyone is smiling. A certain group of NFL fans aren’t just dealing with the usual post-Super Bowl chemical induced hangover. For fans of the Atlanta Falcons, the Saints most familiar NFL adversary, the hangover is figurative as well. Consider the depressed, joyless existence of Atlanta Falcon fans post Super Bowl XLIV.

While the New Orleans Saints fan happily celebrate one more parade on the Mardi Gras schedule, the Atlanta fan is the jealous, jilted stepsister. Before Sunday, the two cities and franchises shared so much in common; most notably they shared unmatched ineptitude in the NFL as if it was in their professional football DNA. The Saints fans wore grocery bags on their heads in shame. The Falcons bagged head coach Marion Campbell after winning only two of eleven games in the seventies. Then they brought him back for three more years of futility in the eighties.

Both cities are expansion franchises from the late sixties. They entered the NFL one year apart. Both teams were whipping boys of the geographically challenged NFC West for years. If you see a Joe Montana or Steve Young to Jerry Rice highlight, you will see a Saint or a helpless Falcon defensive back. Since the league’s realignment, these two rivals play in the NFC South. Masses of fans road trip by planes, trains and automobiles in an annual drunken crusade in vain attempts to validate each other’s insignificance.

And unlike some “can ESPN make it happen rivalry,” these teams are actually rivals. From the mid- sixties to real-time, the teams have traded wins while they sharing frivolous seasons. All-time the Falcons have a record of 282 wins, 399 losses and 6 ties. The Saints are 280-384-5. No two opponents could be so equal in their inefficiency. (The Falcons lead the all-time series with 44 wins to the Saints 37).

The parallels continue away from the field. New Orleans has Bourbon St, and Atlanta has Peachtree St.

These two cities are the most visited in the south. (With no apology to Miami, even if Miami wants to be part of the south: it is not, can not and will not ever be in the south).

New Orleans has Popeye’s chicken. Atlanta has "The Big Chicken."

New Orleans weather is the precursor of Atlanta weather. If you want to know what the weather will be like in Atlanta tomorrow, check out what it’s like in New Orleans today. Oddly, both teams play in domed stadiums despite having mild southern climates.

Both franchises fan base is linked to an SEC school with rich football heritage. Baton Rouge and Athens are both about an hour away from New Orleans and Atlanta respectively. If you cheer for LSU or Georgia on Saturday, you cheer (usually a little less passionate and a lot more hung-over) for Saints or Falcons on Sunday.

Atlanta’s most famous mayor (also former UN Ambassador) Andrew Young, and most-famous writer-actor-director, Tyler Perry, are natives of The Big Easy.

The “alternative life-stylers” never have trouble meeting new people in either city.

Both teams’ most famous coaches, Mike Ditka of the Saints and Dan Reeves of the Falcons, did their best work in other NFL cities only to be cast away and sent to the south.

The teams have even shared some of their most beloved players. Kicker Morten Anderson has scored the most points in Saints and Falcons history. Quarterback Bobby Hebert was the hometown boy made good in Louisiana until he came to be loved in Atlanta for ending the Chris Miller era. He may be more recognized as a Saint, but Hebert made his only Pro Bowl as a Falcon. Hebert has done sports talk radio in both cities and his son was a prep star in metro Atlanta before accepting a scholarship to …LSU.

New Orleans gave the world Lil’ Wayne, and Atlanta gave the world Ludacris.

In many ways the cities and their fans were more alike than different. Separation wasn’t necessary because the comparisons were so similar. Then, Sunday happened. Now, it’s game-on for a “super” Mardi Gras in New Orleans, but it’s still game-over in Atlanta. New Orleans will keep celebrating with Abita beer, Atlanta will mourn with Sweetwater.